I Want You Forever and Ever
by AnthroQueen
Summary: 5 years of Spoby, 5 different anniversaries, each unique in their own special way.


**Hi guys! Happy Spoby-versary lol. This idea came to me in the middle of the night a few days ago and I literally wrote it in a day and half so if it sucks, that's why. I just wanted to do something kind of special since, in real time anyway, Spoby's been a thing for five years. It's crazy. So hopefully you don't hate this too much (especially the ending, sorry about that one) but if you do, no hard feelings. Special shout-out to Haleb too, because they've been around for five years too. Believe it or not, they used to be my favorite couple and then one day Spoby snuck up and took over my life. Yeah. Anyway I'm rambling. I hope you all have a magical day!**

* * *

><p><span>I Want You Forever and Ever<span>

He hasn't found a balance, yet; Mona had promised he would, had sworn to her own grave that soon he would be able to separate his two personas, his double life, but he can't. Each time he does something for her, a sickening feeling grows in the pit of his stomach and his moral compass spins out of control, always pointing due north and wondering why Toby isn't following its directions. It's clear to everyone, even Mona- he's just not that kind of person. He isn't the one to run people off the road or chase teenage girls around empty buildings; he doesn't want to cause harm to anyone, contrary to popular belief. It's almost as if this is the very reason Mona is making him do these things; to challenge him, perhaps, or to pull him out of his comfort zone. Perhaps she's creating a new one.

Toby does his very best to keep his thoughts and actions under control and as hard as it is to keep everything from Spencer, he hopes the ends will justify the means. Each day he sees her, struggling to make sense of it all, he's sure he's going to burst with answers. He knows just as much as she does, but he still wants to help; it's in his nature, after all. He wants to tell her about his involvement and he vows to himself that he will; someday, she'll know the truth. He refuses to let her remain in the dark, especially when the matter is life-threatening. But each time he pictures telling her, in ends horridly; he can't imagine her taking it lightly, but the longer she remains oblivious, the worse her reaction will be. Toby's caught between a rock and a hard place, but above all else, he wants her to be safe. He'd rather have her alive and hate him than… well, the alternative.

He shudders at the thought. Not today; in fact, literally any other day but today. For today is November 6th, their very first anniversary, and he'd never taint this precious occasion with unnecessary tragedy. He instead spends his lunch break poring over floral arrangements for a solid twenty or so minutes before choosing the exact combination that would fit Spencer best. Lunch is irrelevant, after all; he and Spencer wouldn't be able to spend their anniversary together because of course her parents are in town the one night she wishes they weren't. But no matter, they would press on. She jumps nearly out of her skin when he appears at her back door and he has to admit, it probably wasn't the best way to make an entrance, especially with the daily terror she's been dealing with for a solid year now. When he presents her with the bouquet of flowers, her momentary fear melts into surprise, giddiness and adoration.

"Happy anniversary," Toby grins, and he's faked a lot in the past couple of weeks, but he could never fabricate the way he feels about Spencer Hastings.

"They're beautiful. Thank you," She expresses, a kiss and hug following close behind. "I feel so bad, though. I didn't get you anything."

"It's okay," He insists. "I didn't expect you to."

She reaches for a vase and begins to fill it at the sink, Toby stepping closer as well, and everything is going swimmingly until he sees the key. His heart palpitates wildly and he's almost positive his fingers are trembling when he picks it up. "A?"

"Oh, it's not what you think," Spencer assures him, but there's a look in her eyes that tells him something's off. "Melissa left it here. She has a storage unit in Philly."

When she tosses it into the kitchen drawer between them, their eyes meet in brutal tension. _You're lying_, Toby thinks and he shouldn't be surprised and he should be more upset, but he isn't, because he's lying too. And the uneasiness in her eyes, the unsteadiness of her gaze, tells him she knows what that key is and she knows what it's for and she just _knows_. Honestly, he wouldn't be shocked if she did because Spencer is easily the smartest person he's ever known. But if she knows… Why isn't she calling him out? Why hasn't she broken up with him or screamed and cursed his name or sobbed and begged for answers? Why is she acting like nothing is going on? Instead, she comments again on how pretty the flowers are and how dark the clouds seem to be getting and when Toby tells her he loves her, she returns the sentiment. They kiss again, but it's not quite the same and their second hug feels desperate and forced and Toby leaves her house with all the same questions and none of the satisfying answers.

It isn't until he returns later that night that he gets them. She knew. She knew from the moment he walked into her living room bearing flowers that hadn't seemed apologetic at the time but certainly did now, now that he sees the heartbreak in her eyes and the tears flooding her cheeks. She knew but she didn't say anything because she had to _see_ it to believe it. And somehow, that's all the more heartbreaking; Toby would've preferred if she'd laid down the law earlier in the afternoon because seeing her this broken up is absolutely slicing his insides to shreds. There's nothing he can do but watch her fall apart; he doesn't trust himself to put her back together, not this time, not when he had been her undoing. Instead, he flees. He runs, because he's ruined the only thing he truly cares about and Rosewood has nothing for him, now.

On the way, he thinks of the bouquet of flowers and the look of love in her eyes and his own swell with tears. He thinks of all the things he'll do differently on their next anniversary and then has the gut-wrenching realization that more than likely, they won't have one. After all, he highly doubts that Spencer will ever find it in her heart to forgive her.

If Toby was in her shoes, he wouldn't.

* * *

><p>November 6th falls on a Thursday this year and of course, as fate would have it, it's also the date of two of Spencer's midterms and a huge term paper. College is no joke; if she thought twelfth grade calculus was a challenge, that's nothing compared to her TuesdayThursday seminar with grad students (while she's still in undergrad, mind you) and a professor who bears a frightening resemblance to Mussolini. None of her roommates understand; one goes to college solely for the partying, the other is majoring in art history and the third one she never really sees and Spencer isn't totally convinced she exists. Her parents are still the overbearing control freaks they've always been and Melissa's dropped off the face of the earth. And the last time she talked to any of the other girls had been Hanna's twenty-first birthday party… three months ago. Needless to say, Spencer has been a bit of a hermit lately, trapped in the library with textbooks heavier than she is and highlighted, color-coded notes on everything from every subject _ever_.

When she finally makes it out of her hellhole of a day, she piles all of her things into her backpack that's bursting at the seams and trudges down the path towards her apartment. It's cheap and kind of run down, definitely nothing compared to her home in Rosewood, but it isn't a dorm and after freshman year, she was pretty much done with those, anyway. She does have her own room, so she can't complain too much, and all she wants to do right now is pull on the coziest sweatshirt she owns and call Toby; to vent, mostly, but also because it's their anniversary, and how dare real life get in the way of that. It's getting colder; a stiff wind rustles the crunching leaves on the ground and Spencer shivers and pulls her jacket tighter around her body as her apartment comes into sight. She's just at the front when something else does, too.

It's that tan truck that she'd recognize a mile away and the cold can't reach her anymore, not when he's near. And she shouldn't be shocked anymore by how well Toby knows her but she is; she sometimes thinks their minds are connected, because she'd been yearning for him for weeks and here he is, an angel to answer her prayers. There are maybe twenty, possibly thirty feet in between them and yet it feels like a thousand miles, because her books are heavy and the wind is nipping at her fingers and nose and she just can't get to him fast enough. She gets close enough to see that winning smile and she can only imagine she looks the same, thoroughly delighted just by the thought of his presence. As she approaches him, he pushes off the hood of the car and produces an ornate bouquet of flowers from behind his back.

"Happy anniversary," Toby says and Spencer's entire body fills with light and warmth and love.

She accepts them gratefully and throws her arms around his neck, relishing the way his curl around her just as tightly. "You have no idea how much I need this right now; how much I need _you_ right now."

He chuckles but agrees when he says, "It's probably about as much as I need you."

Spencer retracts a bit to press a soft kiss on his lips before tugging on his hand and leading him inside. The apartment's empty and that's just the way she likes it; after all, she and Toby hadn't seen each other in weeks _and_ it's their anniversary. Surely, her roommates didn't need to stick around to bear witness to the zealous celebrating that occurs in the moments that follow. Spencer can still see the self-doubt in Toby's eyes because it's still there, even years later, every time they come together as one. It's even more present today, on this day in particular, because not only is it a milestone in the relationship but also the day he'd slaughtered her heart into a million tiny pieces. She'll never forget and likely, neither will he, but if he doesn't know by now that she's in this for the long haul, then she's not sure how she'll prove it to him. A kiss here, a caress there, and the look is gone in an instant, but that doesn't mean it's extinct. Spencer's sure it'll be there next time, because even now, even after all this time, she knows he feels as though he doesn't truly deserve her. And it kills her and frustrates her, but she shares many of his insecurities, so she keeps mum.

They must lie there, in each other's arms, for hours, because after a while, Toby notes, "The sun's setting."

"It is. We should probably get some dinner," Spencer suggests. "Let's watch the sunset first, though. There's a great spot on the roof; you can see the whole city and it's beautiful."

"On the roof? That doesn't seem safe."

"I've been up there a hundred times," Spencer waves it off nonchalantly, hopping out of bed and dressing hurriedly. "Come on, before we miss it!"

"Spencer," Toby chuckles, sitting up and pushing back the covers. "It's like thirty degrees outside."

"Dress warmly."

"You're wearing half of my clothes."

"We'll huddle together for warmth, promise."

He laughs and the sound fills her soul like sunshine on a cloudy day. When they've dressed appropriately and trudged up the stairs to the roof, Spencer props the door open with a spare brick and collapses into a lawn chair, motioning for Toby to follow suit, as he does. The pinks and oranges and yellows of the distant sunset are mostly gone now, bleeding into the horizon as stars begin to dot the dark blanket of sky. But it is one of Spencer's favorite spots in the city, because it reminds her of home. Occasionally, though it's rare, she will get homesick but all it takes is one look at the beautiful sunset to remind her of the countless times she and Toby had reclined in the bed of his truck to watch one in Rosewood and she's home. He slips his hand into hers, now, and gives it a squeeze. Clearly, they've been thinking the same thing.

"Let's play a game," Toby then says and Spencer grins, nodding her agreement.

"Okay. What kind of game?"

"Twenty questions," He tells her. "You can go first."

"Let me think," She pauses for a minute before tucking a lock of hair behind her ear and saying, "Okay, got it."

And Toby begins to ask, "Is it a person?"

"No."

"An animal?"

"No."

"An object?"

"Yes!"

"Is it something I encounter in my daily life?"

She considers this a moment before nodding. "When you're with me, yes."

He eyes her and wonders, "Is it coffee?"

She bursts into giggles and shakes her head. "No!"

"But it's something I encounter mostly when I'm with you?" Toby ponders. "Is it the truck?"

"No," Spencer tells him. "You use that when I'm not around."

"Oh!" Realization dawns upon him a moment later. "Is it Scrabble?"

Spencer frowns. "How did you get that so quickly?"

"Because you didn't challenge. Spence, I expected better from you," Toby teases and she rolls her eyes playfully. "I've got one you'll _never_ guess."

"Try me," Spencer says. "Is it a person?"

"No."

"An animal?"

"No."

"An object?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Is it something that I see everyday?"

"It will be," Toby tells her and she shoots him a strange look.

"It will be?" She questions and he nods. "Is it something that I own already?"

"Yes," He says and now she's getting a bit confused.

"Is it a game?"

"No."

"A book?"

"No."

She thinks a moment before asking, "Does this 'something' have to do with you?"

"Yes," He smiles.

"And it's not the Scrabble board I personalized for you?"

"No."

"Or the pocket watch?"

"No," Toby grins. "I own those things, remember?"

"Right," She frowns. "Okay… Is it like a real object or is it something metaphorical?"

He laughs. "Trust me, it's real."

"Is it like a household object?"

"No."

"Is it big?"

"No."

"So it's small?"

"That is the opposite of big."

She frowns at him and he grins back because obviously, he's enjoying this. Spencer, however, is stumped. "Is it an article of clothing?"

"Not exactly."

"Is it a piece of jewelry?"

Toby confirms this with a nod. "Yes."

"Oh," She grins. "Is it the Scrabble necklace?"

"No," He disagrees and she's back at square one again.

"If it's not that, then what is it?" She exclaims in frustration. "Is it a different necklace?"

"No," Toby smirks.

"A bracelet?"

"Nope."

"A ring?"

Toby grins. "Yes."

"It's a ring?" Spencer asks in excitement and then she hears the words she's just said and her expression melts into shock. "Oh my god, it's a ring?"

"I'm sorry," Toby cuts her off. "You're out of questions."

"No, no, no," Spencer stammers. "What kind of ring?"

"You're out of questions, Spence," Toby repeats. "I win!"

She stares at him, dumbfounded, and shivers a bit from the cold or the nerves or maybe a combination of the two. Paralyzed by shock, Spencer watches as Toby pulls a little black box from the pocket of his jeans and her heart nearly stops. She swallows past the lump in her throat and says, "Oh my god. Oh my god, it's _that_ kind of ring."

"Spencer," Toby says, cracking the box open so that the diamond gleams and sparkles in the moonlight. "I had a long speech prepared, but it's very cold and I'm very nervous and I forgot most of it."

She laughs whole-heartedly and this seems to relieve some of the anxiety between them. He continues, "So I guess I'll just keep it simple. I love you so much and I want to be with you forever. Will you marry me?"

"Yes!" Spencer exclaims. "Yes, I will, yes!"

He slides the ring on her finger and they kiss beneath the glittering stars and it's the very first day of the rest of their lives.

* * *

><p>It isn't out of place that Toby has to work on their anniversary, but this one's different. Today marks their very first wedding anniversary and they'd had grand plans that had to be cut in half because of their work schedules. Despite this, Toby heads home with a smile on his face that he just can't shake, because this year had easily been the best one of his life. They'd married with a quiet ceremony in the park on the most beautiful fall day he'd ever encountered and they'd spent their honeymoon in a beachside cabana for a straight week with not a care in the world. It's hard to believe that was all a year ago, because it feels like he and Spencer have been married for much, much longer and he means that in the best way possible. Every day with her is a gift; every new journey is an adventure he would never wish away.<p>

The house is dark when he arrives home and it's quiet in a peaceful way, not the eerie spookiness they're used to. The quiet hum of the heater is all Toby hears, because early November has already brought in a deep winter chill, despite the fact that fall is not quite ready to hand over the rights to winter just yet. Slipping off his shoes, Toby carefully extricates his coat and tries his best not to disturb the arrangement of flowers in hand, their anniversary tradition. He thinks he hears some movement upstairs and so he heads in the direction of their bedroom, anticipation already swimming through his veins. Just as he pushes the door open, all movement and sounds stop in the bathroom and her voice calls to him.

"Toby? Is that you?"

"Yes," He grins. "I live here too, remember?"

"I'm getting ready for dinner. Don't come in here."

"Why not?"

"It'll ruin the surprise!"

"Okay," He chuckles. "But how am I supposed to give you _your_ surprise?"

There's a pause and then the lock clicks out of place and the bathroom door swings open. She's standing before him in an sapphire blue dress that falls just before her knees, her hair curled around her shoulders and cascading down her back, and she's topped the outfit with black pumps, a touch of makeup and the Scrabble necklace. His eyes widen and he says, "Wow. Yeah, that was worth the wait."

She smiles but her eyes roll anyway. "You barely waited."

"Doesn't matter," He shakes his head. "You're always worth the wait."

Bringing his arm out from behind his back, Toby presents her with the orchids, lilies and irises tied together with a satin bow. "Happy anniversary, Spence."

"Thank you," She takes them from him and inhales their deep scent. "This is my favorite one so far, I think. I mean, you outdo yourself every year, but this one's… This one is beautiful."

"You're beautiful," Toby tells her and asks, "Are you ready to go to dinner?"

"Yeah."

"Let me change really quickly and we'll be on our way."

He slips into a suit and tie, which is so out of character for him, but it is a special occasion and they're going to one of their favorite restaurants. Plus, Spencer looks like a million dollars, so he wants to look right. Upon their arrival, they're seated and brought a complimentary bottle of wine when they tell the waiter it's their anniversary. They toast their very first year and plan for many, many more and after the waiter takes their order, they fall into easy conversation. Spencer glances around the restaurant and asks, "Do you realize we've been together for six years? That's longer than most Hollywood marriages."

"Yeah, it is," Toby grins. "Most Hollywood marriages haven't been through what we have, to be fair."

"Or we're just awesome."

"Or that."

"So six years ago today, you and I woke up in that junky motel," Spencer reminisces. "Where we spent a whole night spying on Jenna and she really had no involvement in the first place."

"And I kicked your ass at Scrabble, don't forget that part," Toby points out. "For what would be the first of many, many ass-kickings."

She frowns. "Not the point."

"But always good to remember, I think."

"You kissed me," Spencer remembers fondly. "It was really nice. I didn't expect it at all."

"I liked you," Toby says. "I liked you a lot."

"I guess I just thought that you wouldn't because of how awful we were to you," Spencer explains. "I thought that even though at that point we were kind of, sort of friends, you were still… I don't know. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. And I wanted so badly to prove to you that I was being genuine, but I didn't think I was doing so effectively."

Toby smirks. "You think too much."

She laughs. "Yeah, I've been told."

"I believed you. And I liked you. So you don't have to worry about that," Toby tells her honestly and then decides to add, more teasingly, "Why else do you think I let you keep that shirt?"

Spencer sighs. "I miss that shirt. Hasn't functioned much as a shirt since the collar got loose and the hem started to rip, but I did repurpose it."

At this, he's confused. "You did? Into what?"

"A blanket," Spencer smiles. "Want to see?"

"You brought it with you?"

"Yeah," She nods. "It's part of your present."

Toby wonders, "You made me a blanket out of my old shirt?"

"Not exactly," Spencer says, producing the blue material from her purse for him to see. "It's kind of small, so it might be put to better use for someone else."

Curiosity fills his entire body. "Who?"

"Someone who could also wear this," Spencer replies, handing him a small box wrapped in gold paper.

Toby takes the gift from her and carefully unfolds the wrapping paper, peeling off the bow and lifting the top of the box. When the tissue paper has been tucked back, there's white fabric with bright block writing on the inside and, inquisitive, Toby lifts it from the folds. It falls to full size in his hands and he realizes it's a baby's onesie; there's a police badge on the left side of the fabric and the writing reads: _My hero wears a badge. I call him Daddy_. Toby's heart is in his throat and he feels so many things at once that he can't even decipher them all. Shock, confusion, excitement and pure, pure love for the woman before him are the ones he _can_ grasp and when he looks back at Spencer, she's waiting expectantly for his response. He can't form words, so she does.

"Happy anniversary," Spencer tells him. "You're going to be a dad."

"I don't… you…" He stammers before he can get his bearings. "We're having a baby?"

"We're having a baby," She confirms and he can tell she's nervously anticipating his reaction, but she has no reason to be nervous, for this is best news he's ever gotten.

"Oh my god," Toby exclaims, curling a hand into her hair and bringing her lips to his. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," She tells him, biting her lip and asking, "We can handle this, right?"

Toby grins. "We can handle anything."

* * *

><p>She doesn't know why she's in such a sour mood until it hits her- it's November 6th, her and Toby's anniversary, and she's three thousand miles away from him. It should have been more obvious; she's been here almost a week and she's already missed out on apple picking, pumpkin carving and trick-or-treating with her kids back home. Her boss had stationed this conference in Venice and sure, she's always wanted to travel overseas, but she hadn't ever wanted to go alone. She and Toby had talked about it as a futuristic goal, sometime when the last of their four munchkins goes off to college and they're brooding over their empty nest. They've got a long way to go; their youngest had celebrated his fifth birthday the day before she left. Either way, she's here, they're not, and she isn't pleased about it.<p>

Spencer doesn't get back to her hotel room until after eleven o'clock, so late it's almost not even their anniversary anymore, but that doesn't stop her. Italy is six hours ahead of the place she calls home and she knows they're probably eating dinner or maybe finishing up some homework, but she drops all of her things on the floor and searches for her laptop anyway. She's just barely connected to the Internet before her laptop chimes with an incoming FaceTime call and she accepts without even the slightest hesitation. There are four grinning faces on her screen instantly and her heart aches because she misses them so incredibly much. Spencer helps her eldest son with a math problem and tells the twin girls all about the gelato and jokes with her youngest until he's rolling on the floor with laughter. And when they've headed off to ready themselves for bed, it's then that she finally sees Toby's face grace her screen.

"Where have you been?" Spencer chastises. "How come I got to see the entire Cavanaugh clan but you?"

"_It's a small computer screen and you have four children. Plus somebody had to clean up the kitchen after dinner, and you distracted the kids, so…_"

She laughs. "I'm sorry, _I_ have four children? Did I self-procreate?"

"_They're yours, now. When you come back on Sunday, _I'm_ leaving for a week._"

"Aw, my poor baby. Did they wear you out?"

"_I'm running on fumes_."

She grins. "I miss them."

"_They miss you, too._"

"And I miss you," Spencer frowns. "It's our anniversary and I spent it eating cold pasta and reading through these case studies."

"_Sounds exhilarating. But I spent it chaperoning that field trip to the planetarium and then playing chauffeur to soccer and tennis and dance and piano. So, we're in the same boat._"

Smiling at the notion, she asks, "Did you get your present in time?"

"_I did. It's amazing and I can't thank you enough. Did you get yours?_"

"No," Spencer shakes her head. "When did you send it?"

"_Are you kidding? They were supposed to deliver it while you were out today!_"

"I didn't get anything and they didn't say anything about it at the front desk," Spencer shrugs. "What was it?"

"_I'm not telling you! You might still get it!_"

"Toby, I'm leaving in two days," She clarifies. "Is it time-sensitive?"

"_No. It would've been nice if they delivered your anniversary surprise on our actual anniversary, though._"

She checks the clock in the upper right corner of the screen and chuckles. "A little late for that."

Sure enough, moments later, there's a knock on her door and when she answers, a kind looking Italian man asks if she'd step out for just a moment while he delivers a package. She takes her laptop with her and when the door closes behind her, Spencer asks, "Toby Cavanaugh, what did you do?"

"_Don't hang up on me. I want to see your reaction._"

"I don't plan on it."

Moments later, the door reopens and when Spencer steps inside, the room's been transformed into something straight out of a romantic day spa. There are rose petals quite literally everywhere; on the floor, the chairs, the bed and the balcony. The lighting's been reduced to several candles and Spencer's not sure she's ever had her mood change this instantly before. Toby's asking, "_Well? Do you like it?_"

"What is all this?" She asks in awe and he chuckles.

"_You've been working your ass off and I know you need a break. I know how upset you were about us not being able to spend our anniversary together, but I still wanted you to have a good one._"

"You're incredible," Spencer tells him. "I'm serious. I don't think there's anyone in this world quite like you."

"_You haven't met Mauro, then. He set this whole thing up and he's prepared to give you a massage if you'd like one_."

"Toby," Spencer says. "You are the most wonderful man I've ever had the pleasure of knowing and I love you so, _so _much."

"_I love you, too, Spencer. Happy anniversary_."

* * *

><p>Every anniversary they've had has been unique, but if there's one thing that's never changed, it's that Toby always, <em>always<em>, presents Spencer with a bouquet of flowers. He's done so since the very first anniversary they'd ever had, way back when they were kids who didn't know any better, and yet he'd never change that. They've grown so much since they first met and so much has changed; they've had children and their children have had children, but Toby still can't allow this day to go by without that signature bouquet of flowers. He's getting up there in years- he'll be eighty-five in March- and he doesn't quite move around as well as he used to, but his determination is one thing that has never waned. That, and his deep love for Spencer Hastings.

He moves around the house carefully and quietly on the morning of November 6th, dresses in his Sunday best and gets behind the wheel of his car. That old faithful truck had died years and years ago, but somewhere in the depths of their garage, it's enjoying a miraculous afterlife. They hadn't been willing to part with it; the sentimental value is just too much. Toby drives to that faithful florist he's frequented ever since they'd moved to this town in the years before they'd had children and pulls into his favorite parking spot, the one by the front door. A bell chimes overhead once he steps inside and a young woman behind the counter smiles and acknowledges his presence with a curt nod. Toby steps up to the counter and clears his throat just as she begins to ask for information.

"Good morning, sir," She pipes cheerfully. "How can I help you today?"

"It's my wedding anniversary," Toby tells her. "My wife and I have been married sixty years today."

"Sixty years? That's incredible!" The woman exclaims. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you," Toby smiles. "I need a bouquet of flowers."

"What did you have in mind?"

"Orchids," Toby recites from memory. "Lilies and irises, too."

"I'll see what I can do!"

Roughly a half hour later, she hands him the flowers, tied together with a pink satiny ribbon, and Toby hands her payment in return. The woman says, "Please, wish your wife a happy anniversary for me?"

"I will," Toby nods. "She'll like that."

He balances the bouquet in the passenger seat and presses on towards his destination. His wedding band is sparkling in the morning sunshine, just as bright and gleaming as it had been sixty years ago today. A faint buzzing noise is coming from his jacket pocket, but he knows it's one of his four children, calling to check on him as they'd grown accustomed to doing now for the past few months. He'll return the calls later; he has something more important to do, right now. Parking the car along the grassy trail, Toby steps out of the vehicle, carefully handles the bouquet and slowly makes his way towards Spencer, towards _home_.

She's on a slight hill, underneath a great oak tree, and her headstone is cool to the touch the second Toby approaches it. He's sure the pain will never go away and it's still as fresh as it had been the day it happened. Still, he smiles and places the bouquet against the shiny marble, saying, "Happy anniversary, Spencer."

It had happened over the summer and so suddenly, Toby had believed it to be a nightmare. They'd eaten dinner, they'd cuddled on the couch with a movie and then they'd gone to bed. She whispered that she loved him and he'd kissed her and told her the very same and while he woke up in the morning, she hadn't. It was quick and painless and she hadn't suffered, but Toby had; Toby hadn't been able to recover. And this is their first anniversary where only one will be celebrating and he feels like his heart stopped beating the day hers did. He feels like he's going through the motions of being alive, but none of it matters if she's not here beside him. He isn't delusional enough to think they were going to live forever. But they had vowed their undying love and devotion to each other so long as they both shall live, so if his life isn't over, then why is hers?

"Sixty years," Toby says and tears begin to roll down his cheeks. "Can you believe it? I can't believe you put up with me for that long. You once said that six years is longer than most Hollywood marriages but man, sixty… That's just unheard of."

A cool fall breeze tickles the petals on the flowers he's bought her and he sniffles. "Spencer, I still love you more than you will ever know. I'll never stop. I…"

He trails off, almost unable to continue. "I miss you every second of every day. The kids have been good; they miss you, too, of course, but they've been keeping me busy and trying to keep my mind off of this."

"Not today," Toby shakes his head. "It's our anniversary and I want to spend it with you."

And so he does. He sits upon the hill with her for the rest of the day and when day fades to night and stars begin to dot the sky, Toby is reminded of the years upon years of memories they'd made together. They'd grown together and they'd changed and they'd brought out the best in one another, even when people surrounding them expected the worst. They'd laughed and they'd cried and they'd fought and they'd loved. They'd had children, four beautiful, intelligent, wonderful children, and they'd watched them grow and become four amazing individuals. They'd experienced happiness and sorrow and embarrassment and sheer terror, but they'd experienced it all together. And honestly, Toby's grateful for everything they've ever gone through, because if they hadn't, it wouldn't have led them here. The loss he feels in her absence is something that will never be filled. But they had had a great life together and they will meet again in another life to once again take the world by storm.

When people use the term "forever," it's relative at best. But Toby Cavanaugh and Spencer Hastings know the true meaning of forever is being united, both in life and in death, as well as in regions beyond.


End file.
